The Most Unusual Mothers Day Gift

     It's that time of year again, you know, the time that we celebrate moms for who they are to us with mushy cards, flowers and a random display of gifts... and of course brunch! I never really appreciated Mothers Day before I was a mother myself. I used to get my mom cards that were sure to bring back memories of how much she loved me, hoping it would get her through another year of raising me, and take her to brunch, that she ended up paying for. Now, now I have this deep appreciation for this day. Why you might ask. Please get comfortable, let me walk you through the life of a mom!

Day 1...

     Oh the joy!! We're pregnant! We're having a baby! I can't believe it, no really I can't believe it, we're still so young, and we wanted to do so much before we started having children. Oh well! I guess I better get my life in order, but I swear I won't be one of "those" moms. The ones who wear yoga pants all the time, who drink coffee, but not just any coffee, Starbucks coffee while shopping at Target. I won't let my kids talk back to me, like ever, and they'll never be mean or say hurtful things to anyone. I'll raise them to say please and thank you because the kids who don't are monsters! I swear I'll still want to have sex with my husband ALL. THE. TIME. and I'll never tell him I'm too tired or smell like baby spit up when he leans in to kiss me, heaven forbid I have left over breakfast stuck in my hair. I'm going to be the perfect mom, and no one can convince me otherwise. 

Day 480...

     Please eat the oatmeal. Look it's a plane Brrrrr Brrrr Brrrr.... open your mouth, mommy loves you. For Gods sake kid, please open you mou... yes, thank you, I always wanted to know what half eaten and mostly regurgitated baby cereal tastes like. Awesome. And now I'll go wipe of my yoga pants for the 17th time today, I should probably wash them, but seriously whats the point. And I know I own 6 other pairs, but these are my favorite and who am I kidding, I'm definitely not going to wash AND dry them today. When was the last time I took a shower? I should probably take a shower, I'll take one when the baby goes down for a nap. Nap time, maybe I'll just close my eyes for a second... babies up, well I guess I'm not taking a shower again today.



Day 620...

     Yay you're walking! I can't believe it, you're amazing. Wow, this is great! Please don't touch that or that, you know what let's just go somewhere else. Never mind, this is worse, lets go back over here. Oh God, watch your head! Ahhh, yep saw that one coming. It's ok sweetie, you're ok. Mommy will kiss it better. Please honey, can mommy please have some privacy, I just want to go pee.... you know, alone, without your little hands clinging to my pants trying to figure out what i'm doing. I wish it was tolerable for mom's to have tantrums because I would straight throw a tantrum right now.  No you can not play with those! Those are not for babies, those are for mommies. Great now you're throwing a tantrum. There's more irony where that came from. Where's my coffee. 



Day 730...

     Oh God, it can't be that time. I'm not ready to wake up. Here sweetie, mommy's going to put Doc McStuffins on for you and I'm just going to rest a little bit longer, but only one episode OK. 3 episodes later, I should probably make this small human some food before her daddy comes home for lunch. Hot dogs, no we had those yesterday. Oh I'll make her something healthy, like sweet potatoes and broccoli, she'll love that, maybe I'll bake some chicken, because you know, fried is bad for you. *Searches through fridge* ugh I hate cooking, why did I go to culinary school and waste all that money. But the food was so good, and all that extra student loan money paid for some nice dinners. I miss date night, when are we going to have another one. Probably never. But that food sure was good, food, right! What to make, what to make.... screw it. Lets get in the car, we're having Chick-Fil-A for lunch. Where are your shoes?! Never mind, socks will work, you can't have shoes in the play place anyways. Wait where are your socks now, barefoot it is. 



Day 731...

     Honey.... I need you to run to the store and get a few more tests, I think this one is broken. No not the expensive kind, go to the dollar store, they work the same!

Day 800...

     Please God, please sustain me. I can't do this. I can barely keep one human alive, two is one too many. I think I'm going to be sick, yep definitely going to be sick. Why!? Why do you need to start potty training while I'm pregnant. I really hate changing your diaper but I need the toilette to be available at all times, and no I don't want to be using the potty at the same time as you. Thank you for peeing on the floor, that's exactly what I was thinking would be the best alternative to keeping the potty open for mommy... not. I can do this. I have a great idea! Lets get a puppy!

 

Day 1000...

     Wow, we have two beautiful little girls. Girls are the best, they're so sweet and love to give hugs and kisses. I can't wait for big sis to come to the hospital and meet her new little sis. They're going to be best friends. This is perfect. This is what life is supposed to look like, the four of us. I can't imagine it being any other way. Look sweetie, this is your baby sister, you're going to be the best big sister ever!



Night 1000...

     Honey you can't shove stuffed animals in your sisters face, she can't breath when you do that and mommy doesn't feel like explaining why the new baby isn't alive anymore. Please stop pulling her arm that way! No, you can't have any of sisters milk, you're a big girl, sister is a baby. Aw thank you, I love your kisses, you're the best. I love you, BABE help please! STOP PULLING ON YOUR SISTER! Great now I woke the baby up. Well this is fun.

   
  

     Guys, motherhood is beautiful and frustrating, you feel like you're succeeding and failing all at the same time. You feel guilt over everything, every little thing makes you feel guilty. Should I force my child to eat or just go with the flow? Should I make sure they have a set nap time and bed time schedule or should I just go with the flow? I really need to get better at teaching them bible verses, and the alphabet, and colors, and please and thank you, and everything else. How much is therapy? Should I start saving for theirs now or should I think about college first? Can we even afford to save money? 

     You get all the joy from seeing them grow and then you get the experience to help walk other moms through the challenges that come with growth. For every thing they learn to do they also become more curious, and if Curious George taught me anything it's that a mess always follows curiosity. You can't wait for them to crawl, but then you're vacuuming 90x a day and constantly wiping hands with baby wipes. You are ecstatic when they walk, but stairs. You love potty training except all the accidents and cleaning dirty under ware for 4 months straight. And when they start talking it's like the heavens open up, but then they learn what questions are, and how to repeat everything you say. They pick up on your sass and attitude, they even pick up on your catch phrases that you say all the time. People start to think you abuse your child because of the stories their minds come up with. Suddenly a trip to time out turns into an actual beating where they ended up in the ER and are now dying. 

     Laundry is on hold all the time. Dishes pile up in the sink. Your prestigious house is no where to be found. You can't remember the last time you slept through the night, because once the baby starts to the older one is waking up with bad dreams. You've become an expert at understanding gibberish and words through tears. You and your husband have created a new language where you have a conversation based on looks and heavy sighs. People think you're a flake because every time you make plans the kids plot against you and one or all of them get some illness. Going out takes extreme amounts of work so you end up ordering take out and watching a movie on a couch stuffed with fruit snacks, princess accessories and unidentified items. You're exhausted.

     Naturally, mothers day comes around and people assume you want out. You want time away, time to yourself. You don't want to hear fighting or whining for an entire day. You want to eat a meal while it's still hot. A spa day, that's what we need, something to get us going again. But is it? Will that get us through the inevitable tears that will welcome us once we return home because we weren't there to tuck them in or kiss their boo boos? Do I really want to miss that, do I want to miss a bed time, the things that make me a mom so that I can celebrate being a mom? That sounds odd to me. What I want this mothers day doesn't come in escaping. Doesn't come in expensive gifts. What I want this mothers day comes from inside... inside of me. 

     So here it is, the most unusual mothers day gift. This year for mothers day, I want nothing more than

Self Control and Contentment

     Yes, this mothers day, when my toddler comes in to wake me up (most likely crying because that's how she rolls these days) I don't want to start my day with exasperation, with a heavy sigh that I get to live this life. I want to wake up smiling, smiling because I have a little life that comes to me first thing in the morning to greet me and to be greeted. When I have to try not to pee my pants while I'm singing her twinkle twinkle and wheels on the bus so she can use the bathroom I want to be thankful. Thankful that I have a child who loves me being a part of her life every chance she gets. When I go to get the baby out of the crib, I'll be joyful because I have not only one blessing, but two! Two beautiful, wonderful blessings. And when that first melt down happens as we're running late for church and I still haven't eaten, I want to give myself the gift of self control. I don't want to yell, at all, not this mothers day. I choose to deposit positive attitudes into my families bank. My present this year won't come from my husband or my children, although I will love and cherish that mushy card and most likely hand drawn "picture" the same as my mom did from me, but instead my mothers day gift this year will be from me to me, and to my family to thank them for making me a mom to be celebrated. 

     I will not retreat away from those I love but I will find contentment in the day to day grind and the exhaustion and the chaos. I love this calling, and gift that God has given me, I refuse to treat it like a burden I need to be relieved of. 

"Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one's youth. Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them! He shall not be put to shame when he speaks with his enemies in the gate" -Psalms 127:3-5

Happy mothers day!